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29 July 2004 @ 05:46 am
Just one darned thing after another....  

My 88-year-old mother had to go into the hospital last week. Since I work nights (and therefore sleep days), Susan the Wonderspouse has been dealing with visiting and coordinating care and talking with nurses and doctors and phoning the relatives and everything, bless her heart. She tells me my mom's symptoms looked like classic congestive heart failure, but that was ruled out pretty quickly, as were a number of other possible diagnoses. Mom was in pretty bad shape when she went in (depressed blood potassium, elevated blood CO2, blocked kidneys, barely awake, and mostly incoherent); in fact, she was in such bad shape that they asked us about her DNR preferences. We said no, no, do as much as you can — she was totally lucid and doing things like driving and shopping and cooking as little as two or three weeks ago. You know, her collapse had come on pretty suddenly and it seemed to us that mom still had a lot of good years ahead of her; sure, less mobile and less comfortable we'd like, but still mentally sharp. Once they got her on oxygen she regained her focus and seemed to be improving.

So this afternoon the biopsy on the fluid drained from around her heart came back positive. We'll probably be meeting with the Oncologists Friday morning to figure out exactly how best to proceed and how many weeks … or days … mom's got left.


Current Mood: crushedcrushed
Annenetmouse on July 29th, 2004 04:03 am (UTC)
big hugs and supportive thoughts to you. That sounds like an awful shock.
Larry Sandersonlsanderson on July 29th, 2004 04:49 am (UTC)
Oh no!
Please let me know if there's anything I can do, and remember to take care of yourself too.
   .numbat on July 29th, 2004 05:20 am (UTC)
Well, whatever the news I hope you're ready for it. Good luck to all of you.
songs in the key of mechorus on July 29th, 2004 06:34 am (UTC)
Oh, hell.
Stevetarkrai on July 29th, 2004 06:45 am (UTC)
I have a candle lit in my heart for you, my friend. It's never easy. *hug*
Carol Kennedycakmpls on July 29th, 2004 07:07 am (UTC)
I'm so sorry to hear this. If you or Susan suddenly need someone to do something--run an errand, give your daughter (I don't remember whether you put her name in public entries, so I won't) a ride somewhere--we are nearby and I am home during the day, most of the time.
Geri Sullivangerisullivan on July 29th, 2004 07:27 am (UTC)
My heart is with you all.

Remember, too, that there's a metaphorical blue sofa here whenever you, your Wonderspouse, and/or your Wonderpeanut need it. It accepts phone calls around the clock, too. Some sofa, eh?

As elisem said back in 1989, "The trouble with grief is that when it knocks, you're always home."

Know that I am home with you.
Laurel Krahn: blondelaurel on July 29th, 2004 07:58 am (UTC)
I'm so sorry to hear this Fred. Sounds all too familiar after what I went through with my grandparents in the last year or two.

Stuff you and Susan probably already know: keep after the doctors-- don't be shy about asking any questions you have. And trust your instincts when it comes to how you think your Mom is doing-- and talk about that stuff with the docs.

I know I'd occasionally worry I was asking too many questions or giving them too much information-- but in the end, I'm so very glad I did. In a number of cases it helped. Plus later on I couldn't kick myself for not having asked about something. And while going through it all was hard; I never regretted a second I spent with my grandparents during their health struggles (I only wish I could've been there more or helped more; but I know I did all I could manage at the time-- one really has to take care of oneself, too).

Anyway. That's a little bit of what I learned, dunno if any of it helps or any of it is anything you guys don't know already. You're all in my thoughts. This is hard stuff.
the laughing leaping waterminnehaha on July 29th, 2004 08:04 am (UTC)
beloved friends
I'm sorry to hear this, sweety.

I don't know how I can possibly do anything helpful, but my thoughts and hopes are with you all.

Many hugs, lotsa love,

Lianatezliana on July 29th, 2004 09:58 am (UTC)
Oh dear, I am so sorry to hear that. You all are in my thoughts and prayers.

If you'd like a friendly professional voice to discuss things with, my father-in-law just retired from his decades-long Oncology practice and really enjoys helping out family and friends by "filling in the gap" between patients/families and their own Oncologist who may be very busy or not quite explaining things in the very best way for the family to understand. In fact, my F-I-L obtained pro-bono insurance for just this kind of thing. Let me know, and I'll put you in contact.

dd-bdd_b on July 29th, 2004 10:43 am (UTC)
Oh, ouch. I'm so sorry. I'm still hoping for better news.

If there's anything I could do to help let me know.
Fighting Crime with a Giant Dandelion Since 2013pameladean on July 29th, 2004 10:47 am (UTC)
What a shock for you guys. I'm so sorry.

Don't forget the value of a second opinion.

Jade: traceyourhandjadegirl on July 29th, 2004 10:51 am (UTC)
Wishing peace and comfort to you and yours.
Baba Yaga the Beautiful: sigh.welfy on July 29th, 2004 11:09 am (UTC)
Mizz Laura Jeanmizzlaurajean on July 29th, 2004 11:37 am (UTC)
So Sorry to hear this. Let me know if there is anything I can do. *Hugs* to you all.