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06 September 2008 @ 08:46 am
Depression  

Depression is the soul-eater. It is the formless shape that settles on the back and clutches the shoulders, weighs you down, gets heavier and heavier and heavier and clutches tighter and tighter and tighter. Depression encircles, encases, encapsulates brain. Pushes words thoughts feelings inward. Allows not expression, escape. Throws sand in the eyes, calls down the mantle listlessness and sleep—some times to assuage hopelessness, deaden frustration. Some times to escape to null world of blank black nothingness. Some times to taunt. Taunt with dreams of beauties, dreams of horrors. To resist to-morrow.

You think depression to be wellspring of your creativity, motivator whence rococo sky-castle fecundity when relenting. You fear banishing demon depression will drive also flying angel fancy from your dominion. You suspect—you believe—angel takes wing, flies the higher for the confinement.

It is a lie. A lie depression whispers constantly, continuously. A lie depression tells to subvert banishment.

Angel and Demon are siblings, 'tis true. Issued from the same loins of inner self, collective self, universal self, lifeforce self. Interdependent twins they are not. Sever them, separate them, split them asunder. Drive one from your door; the other, unfettered, flourishes. Banish Angel and triumphant Demon drains and drags until you are inhaled by pit, by grave. Banish Demon and Angel soars, Angel cavorts, Angel embellishes, Angel … smiles.

It is yours to choose.

 
 
 
Geri Sullivangerisullivan on September 6th, 2008 02:23 pm (UTC)
Remember this. Believe this. Know this. It is truth, beautifully said.

Angel ... smiles.

And I'm all over that cavorting!
Matthew B. Tepper: baby book sailor childasimovberlioz on September 6th, 2008 02:27 pm (UTC)
That's the story of my life too!
lakeboy_55 on September 6th, 2008 03:43 pm (UTC)
Pretty much sums it up, and prettily, too.

If, only fleetingly, it illuminates the inner battle we fight every day.

I always wonder, how can it be that everyone doesn't feel this way?

It's been so long, I can't even make a mental picture of the old freedom.
Mizz Laura Jeanmizzlaurajean on September 6th, 2008 05:06 pm (UTC)
"how can it be that everyone doesn't feel this way?"
different chemistry.
Elaine Brennanelaine_brennan on September 6th, 2008 04:16 pm (UTC)
Banish Demon and Angel soars, Angel cavorts, Angel embellishes, Angel … smiles.

Words to live by.
Fighting Crime with a Giant Dandelion Since 2013pameladean on September 6th, 2008 05:08 pm (UTC)
May the Angel prevail.

P.
but ain't no gyroscope can spin forever....roadnotes on September 6th, 2008 05:20 pm (UTC)
Truth.
Emma Bull: Damn Fine coffeecoffeeem on September 6th, 2008 05:40 pm (UTC)
Exactly. I was afraid to treat my depression, because I was afraid I'd lose my self. Instead, treatment gave me back my self, the person I missed so much and thought I'd never see again.

Thanks for this, guy.
retoonedretooned on September 6th, 2008 09:35 pm (UTC)
I'll remember this.
dr_whuhdr_whuh on September 6th, 2008 11:17 pm (UTC)
Ya nailed it, Brother.

Although I might like having a few hours' worth of the ol' mania back, just once in awhile. Y'know -- housework, tax time, alphabetizing my socks....
Gordonfishbliss on September 7th, 2008 08:52 pm (UTC)
I read and and I understand; I know.


lynnparkslynnparks on September 8th, 2008 02:23 am (UTC)
Fred, beautiful image of the river. Sorry to hear that you're feeling a bit under; I certainly understand it and know how difficult it is to do anything about it; I've given up on the drugs (too many side effects with too little benefits) and frankly, I don't feel any better or any worse. I've always been one of those glass half full,(and leaking of course) people. I find tivoing reruns of the Simpson's tends to cheer me up. And of course, exercise and diet. Yuck.

Take care, Lynn