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10 July 2008 @ 03:56 am
Woke up. Fell out of bed.  

The alarm is set for about now. I turned it off when I awoke on my own about an hour ago. Have been, you know, dinkinʼ around on the ʼputer.

Entering into one of those phases where I think I might have overextended a bit. You know. Socially, like. Having to do with … you know … people. That kind of thing. Stuck my neck out, um, too far perhaps. Like that. Been too, I dunno, “outgoing.” Maybe even kind of brassy. Brash. Unwarranted. Unwelcome. In other words: stupid, stupid, stupid. Am also, on another front, feeling a bit, you know, overwhelmed—over my head.

Maybe it's time to crawl back into the recesses, curl up and grab my knees, and quiver for a while.

As The Man so eloquently put it: “Stick,... I think... I think the little holes in the dark are not empty... they are... full... of... sticks... they are............... I am stupid........”

Current Mood: worriedworried
but ain't no gyroscope can spin forever....roadnotes on July 10th, 2008 12:32 pm (UTC)
Sounds to me like time for a rest. When I've had cycles like that, people have told me that I wasn't being too brassy, so I suspect it's a voice in the back of my (your?) head, saying, "Slow down!" and choosing a rather poisonous way of doing so.
A monstrous ramblingbibliofile on July 12th, 2008 08:15 pm (UTC)
What she said. Take your stick and hit that voice with it, maybe?

You could always ask someone else to give you a high sign if you become too . . anything, really. Insurance when you're out being social.

(I must say, I have a tough time picturing you as brash in any kind of offensive way. Then again, I haven't spent much time with you IRL especially, recently.)
Annetxanne on July 10th, 2008 01:03 pm (UTC)
I do that too. Crawling into a hole and pulling it in after me, accompanied by lots and lots of books, always makes me feel better. See you when you get back!
Chaschasophonic on July 10th, 2008 01:22 pm (UTC)
I don't know, it's been good to see you around and social. I think it's a good thing.
gomeza on July 10th, 2008 02:15 pm (UTC)
Dunno what's going on on your end, but I hope it gets better soon. Just keep this in the back of your head, right next to the nagging doubts: there's a lot of folks out here who think you're an awesome human bean.
Lydy Nickersonlydy on July 10th, 2008 10:21 pm (UTC)
All the usual stuff, you know: you're always welcome, you're not too brash, it's been good to see you out and about. Also, I totally get wanting to stay away from, you know, people. It'd be so much easier if they weren't people. I'm going through some of this myself, different pattern, but recognizable chunks. I'm trying to force myself out a little more. It's a big scary place out there. But here I am sitting around without a job, and I should try to capitalize on that mixed blessing. Be better if I was working, though. Just can't find anything for the summer.
kip_wkip_w on July 10th, 2008 11:38 pm (UTC)