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16 February 2007 @ 03:07 am
I've always relied on the kindness of . . . friends.  

Thank you, my friends, for all the hugs and kind words. Hugs good.

I'm feeling marginally better tonight. Thanks for asking.

While driving in to work tonight I noticed that it was probably a good thing that I didn't try to drive off the Lake Street/Marshall Avenue bridge into the Mighty Mississippi last night, since even with the little ramp effect added by the piled snow and ice at the edge of the roadway, the car probably would have been stopped, if not by the guardrail intended to prevent cars from casually smashing into pedestrians then by the high side railing intended to prevent pedestrians from casually falling off the edge of the bridge and into the river. Smashing up the car on the bridge just wouldn't be the same as causing the car to go sailing gracefully off the bridge and up into the air (in slo-mo, just like in those Action Movies) and then down into the water. Heck, with my luck I'd probably survive but my car would be all smashed up and then what would I do?

I suppose I could have parked the car halfway across the bridge, got out, and jumped, but that's not as glamorous; and the car would almost certainly get ticketed and towed. Bummer. Perhaps if I found just the right spot along the East or West River Road I could manage to zoom the car off and into the river, but I'd have to do a lot of exploring and research and stuff and it would loose all pretense of spontinaity.

So I'm still here. And you're still there. And Ford's still in his flivver and …

Current Mood: okaya little better
Peter Hentgesjbru on February 16th, 2007 10:53 am (UTC)
There was a time when I figured that the world, or at least my little corner of it, would be better off without me in it. Thing was, my sensibilities required me to remove myself by the ritual of seppuku and, well, that'd hurt and the last thing I wanted was more pain. Somehow the juxtaposition kept me 'round, for which I am glad today because my life is so much better.

Likewise, I'm glad your thoughts along those lines have been thwarted by praticalities. I'd hate to, you know, have to drive you around shopping for a new car. And like that.
Marissa Lingenmrissa on February 16th, 2007 12:20 pm (UTC)
One of the running not-funny jokes around here is when T. is down and having a high-pain day, we go over all the failure modes of the ways he could try to off himself. Usually our sick little selves start giggling somewhere along the way, but it also functions as acknowledgment that he really is feeling mighty terrible.
ask mevorona on February 16th, 2007 04:30 pm (UTC)
I've been stopped (recently, really) by a combination of curiosity (things DO always change) and perfectionistic procrastination (can you imagine MY suicide note? I can't be sloppy about writing something which sooooo many people would undoubtedly clamor to read!) and refusal to do anything less than glamorous as a final gesture. No spur-of-the-moment stuff, nothing that'd make my body look bad. This leaves me here, for now, looking into more ways to screw up my life. YEAH. Or make it better. *flips coin* Or maybe make the world better, there's always that little detail, filed under "why not."

Either way, I'm glad you're still around. Let's keep going.
Skylarker: Jheregskylarker on February 16th, 2007 04:35 pm (UTC)
I think you're supposed to wait until your life is basically over already, you're wanted by the police in three states and a whole passel of them are hot on your tail before you do the 'sailing-the-car-off-a-bridge-into-the-river' move
BritHistorianbrithistorian on February 16th, 2007 06:31 pm (UTC)
Didn't you every see It's a Wonderful Life? You're supposed to plow your car into a tree, then stagger to the middle of the bridge on foot to jump off. ;-)

Seriously, glad you're still around, and hopefully things will start looking up for you soon.
aszanoni on February 17th, 2007 05:11 am (UTC)
*After* you and Steve rob the bank, then your stunt doubles get into the car for the big slo-mo leap off the bridge... then you split the take and go live in Bolivia.

oh, wait, I wasn't supposed to mention the bank part, was I?


Stay here with us, Fred. Please. All the hugs you can stand... -hugs-

- Chica
bchbum_98: oh shit2bchbum_98 on February 18th, 2007 07:25 pm (UTC)
It would be a shame to waste your car (and you) without capturing it on videotape from several angles - so we could play it in slow motion - backward and forward - and set it to dramatic music. Please don't do it without telling people so we have time to set up (tongue firmly in cheek)