Well, I came to a couple of very hard decisions the other day. First I decided that I really have to stop acting as if I had unlimited funds at my disposal—that I have to be less self-indulgent about how I spend money. In light of that decision, I realized that at this particular time I had to choose between my planned trip to ConFusion, with all the lovely visiting along they way, and fixing and upgrading our computer in a way that seemed most logical to me. Yes, I could have done both "on the cheap," cutting all kinds of corners, but that just didn't seem like a good answer.
After some agonizing, I decided to stay home and fix the computer. Yes, I wanted to go to ConFusion this year—heck, I still want to and if Michael Anthony were to suddenly gift me with one million dollars—tax free—I would certainly go. This is true even though a few important people who I'd been hoping to see and spend time with are not going to be at ConFusion this year; for one thing, a significant number of important people who I would like to see and spend time (and make music) with will be there. Yes, I want to visit the folks who live between here and there whom I'd been planning and hoping to see on the trip, and I very much want to photograph the beautiful lady with whom I'd been making plans to do so. But, well, yes, while I truly know that one can never step into the same river twice (and that if one doesn't step into it now it won't be the same river it would have been when one does finally step into it) … I'm hoping that the river will continue to exist in some fashion and be interesting and wonderful at the time I am able to step into it, even if that time is not as soon as we'd like. I rather hope that I'll manage to make a shorter trip sooner than a year from now and visit some (many? all?) of those people; and I certainly hope to attend ConFusion next year.
So that's what I've decided. Will let you know how the work on the computer is progressing, although I'm mostly hoping that it will go quickly and smoothly and that you'll be able to hear about results rather than getting "progress reports."
I want very much to sincerely and effusively thank those who offered their time and thoughts, who offered crash space and room sharing and other help; all of those who would have make the trip possible back before the computer went toasty, and those who were making additional offers and efforts to try to make it continue to be possible once the situation turned … difficult, if not actually ugly. I love you all guys, I really do.
Mumble. Mumble. More later.